and my final mid sem break ends

I think this is the least number of times I've written stuff on the blog. Because I have been incredibly busy. To think that not so long ago, I was actually contemplating going back to Cambodia during the mid sem break, when I wasn't even able to complete my draft chapter on the stipulated due date. Luckily for me, I decided not to test my luck and go to Cambodia, and I managed to complete quite a few interviews during the course of the break. Waking up early, running around the Eastern part of Singapore, talking to people, running back to school to get books, typing...life has been pretty crazy. At least I managed to send some things to the kids back in Cambodia, and I hope they like the colour pencils and crayons. Managed to organise a trip to the Baba House and some of my hons classmates and friends graciously helped me out and I hoped they enjoyed themselves at the Baba House. The Anniversary Bash was alright, Thai food yet again, like the Department Lunch and there were these clip-thingies that helped to hold the wine glasses. Kinda ingenious, but a bit weird that the dinner was not a sitting one. And so my final one week pseudo break is now gone, and time to start writing full speed ahead, and wrapping up the interviews. And also frantically applying for jobs. It's going to be a long March and I hope I can churn out something good along the way.

disappointed

Haven't written since CNY, and well, I had to come back with an emo post. Just when I was enjoying doing my research and thesis, I was met with a very, very heavy blow. Some things did not work out well, and it left me feeling rather defeated and I was cursing myself for not being able to stand up to the challenge. I was naive to believe that things will work out fine and that everything will be pretty much smooth sailing. I didn't expect what happened to actually materialise at all and I panicked. Handled myself pretty badly and I'm sure I didn't leave a good impression at all. I always end up thinking it's my fault when things end up badly. I hate being in a conflict situation, and as much as I try to salvage it, it just went into a death-defying spiral downwards and essentially I crashed and burned. I now really doubting myself and I haven't been able to get over it during the past day. I know I'm super fricking thin-skinned but well, I haven't learnt my lesson at all because I still eventually end up being super affected by what happened yesterday. Now it's time for very significant damage control and crisis management, on a professional and personal level, and also a very opportune wake up call. I wallow in self pity but I need to pick myself up again and well, prove to myself that I can do this. Thanks to all the friends who heard me out yesterday. I really appreciated the sounding board.