disappointed

Haven't written since CNY, and well, I had to come back with an emo post. Just when I was enjoying doing my research and thesis, I was met with a very, very heavy blow. Some things did not work out well, and it left me feeling rather defeated and I was cursing myself for not being able to stand up to the challenge. I was naive to believe that things will work out fine and that everything will be pretty much smooth sailing. I didn't expect what happened to actually materialise at all and I panicked. Handled myself pretty badly and I'm sure I didn't leave a good impression at all. I always end up thinking it's my fault when things end up badly. I hate being in a conflict situation, and as much as I try to salvage it, it just went into a death-defying spiral downwards and essentially I crashed and burned. I now really doubting myself and I haven't been able to get over it during the past day. I know I'm super fricking thin-skinned but well, I haven't learnt my lesson at all because I still eventually end up being super affected by what happened yesterday. Now it's time for very significant damage control and crisis management, on a professional and personal level, and also a very opportune wake up call. I wallow in self pity but I need to pick myself up again and well, prove to myself that I can do this. Thanks to all the friends who heard me out yesterday. I really appreciated the sounding board.